Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
