yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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