Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
