I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
