This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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