I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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