I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
