She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
