So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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