So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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