Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
