3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize