Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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