Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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