The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
