So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
