Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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