Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
