It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
