She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
