my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
