just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
