My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
