ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
