So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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