I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
