found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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