I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
