Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
