Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
