Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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