maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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