two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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