The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
