Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
