Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
