i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize