I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
