was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
only if we run a train.
done.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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