I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So much rum. So many feels.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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