I CAN MOONWALK!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize