areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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