you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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