You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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