I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
