i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
