How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
