I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
