I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize