i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
