New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Too much gin, very little bucket
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
