What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
