I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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