More tranny stories later!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
