Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
