Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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