On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
