ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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