I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
