You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
