Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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