Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
