So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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