where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Randomize
