i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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