oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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