but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
