don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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