I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
