dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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