no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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