he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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