you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
