Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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