ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
