why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize