Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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